Have you ever gone on a date with a guy and thought he is not my guy? So what is the best way to say goodbye without him turning into a jerk? Do you email him a Dear John or just ignore him? Ladies what works best for you?
About Jonathon Aslay
Dating is a challenge for everyone. Regardless of age or circumstance, we all struggle to find our perfect match. As someone who has graduated with honors from life’s virtual University of Dating, Jonathon Aslay assists women in finding that seemingly elusive man with whom they can have both compatibility and passion.
Hi Friends, before I share my thoughts, would love to get your feedback first. Hope this turns into a fun thread. *smiles*
I believe in being direct with a person; being passive, passive/aggressive, or vague isn’t the way to go because naturally, the other party may reach out/want to reach out to you again for clarification or to ask you on another date in the future.
I once had a first date with a man with whom I knew by date’s end was not someone I wanted to date romantically. I could see myself as a casual friend with him. At the end of our date, I smiled and said that it was nice to meet him in person, I enjoyed our conversation, and felt that we would be better suited as platonic friends (I truly feel that way) and suggested perhaps we would see each other in a Meetup outing.
It’s important to be direct (yet kind) and clear – there’s no point in wasting anyone’s time, ghosting and/or stringing them along. As soon as you know you’re not a ‘match’, you owe it to not only the other person, but mostly yourself to be upfront and honest with how you’re feeling regarding your date.
Nobody ever said dating was easy. It is certainly not for the faint of heart either!
I usually give body language to him that says I really am NOT interested in you. Most of the time it works.
Be honest unless you look for more troubles. Just put things in a nice way, It is not that he’s a jerk and I’m a bitch, it is just that we don’t match one another. Nobody’s responsible… Put the blame on something else. Bad luck, bad timing, whatever… Or, at the very least, share the responsibilities : you’re too different for the relationship to work. Period.
To write a letter, an email or, worse, text him or, even worse, ignore him are disrespectful and thoughtless. That he doesn’t match you doesn’t mean he is less of a human being and doesn’t deserve a bit of consideration, unless he REALLY behaved like a jerk of course. 🙂
I say, “I’m not feeling the chemistry I’m looking for in a relationship.” It takes the blame off of everyone and it’s something no one can try to “fix.”
Honesty doesn’t mean cruelty. I always tell him, face-to-face, using language similar to what Kelly wrote (above).
I am really curious to hear a guys perspective on this – my guess is that they just want to know yes or no, so they can move on…but it is awkward on the spot, and seems wimpy to do it later in an email. I like what Kelly says, but I can’t imagine getting those words out when I am face-to-face. The word chemistry almost means physical attraction and that might be a little blow to the ego … is there a word that might feel better to a guy?
I concur with all of you! Be honest! I appreciate the first date, but I just did not feel any chemistry, I wish you the very best. Unfortunately…. for me I have yet to have a man respond maturely without showing some sort of a negative attitude, or without some sort of personal attack on me!! I get thrown into a bucket of “you’re just like all the rest of the women.” Sad but true, I take into consideration the possibility of the man having a fragile ego, and his feelings. Much to my surprise, no matter how I handle it, the man’s reaction seems to be the same!! Perhaps if they would take time to calm down their feelings and respond rather than react upon their emotions at the time it would be different??? I wish. This is why for me it is many times easier just not to date!! That is sad to me but easier than becoming another girl in the bucket!! LOL!! Thanks Jonathon for the opportunity to address this!!!
Aesop’s Fables…… The Fox and the Grapes!!!
Do I have to tell him he’s not “the one”? Am I really that sure? Isn’t it an assumption on my part that he even wants to be “the one”? Maybe he just wanted a date with a hot chick. 🙂
If I’m not setting my barometer at marriage level, then I feel good hanging out with most guys. I’ve only had to tell a few dates that I didn’t feel any chemistry because they were going for a kiss that I wasn’t feeling open to give. And yes it felt awkward, but my vibe wasn’t “you’re gross”, my vibe was “I feel open to having a good time, but I don’t feel open to kissing you”. Then the guy still has some choices to make and can keep his power and respect too.
And maybe that guy has a friend who would feel perfect for me…
Shannon, great response and great point. On the other hand how would you tell a creepy guy no?
Julie, do you think you are attracting men who may see you as an object? (basis this on a previous conversation) just wondering?
It is a very valid point, and absolutely look at myself, yet, I usually do quite a bit of soul searching, investigating and spend time talking to them before even a first date!! I have dated professional, educated men, younger, older of all looks and still same response. Do I change my appearance and who I am for a good guy?? I say, NO!! Most do say upon finally meeting me that I am and have the “full package”, personality, educated etc., until….. I decide not to go on that second date. So while I absolutely consider what I am possibly doing wrong, I don’t see it.
This is interesting – first I would say, I don’t think I have ever dated anyone who is creepy. Nevertheless, I think I send a clear message through the stories I tell and ways that I relate to the man. First, I am only talking about an internet meet and greet because I haven’t gone out with anyone that I have met any other way since I started dating.
I am thankful to meet him and express that right from the moment of arrival.
I get an immediate vibe and pay attention to it. If the vibe is “no”, then I completely focus my conversations on who they are and what they do – basically I turn it into an interview. And I tell them very little about myself – and if I am really not interested in them, I will tell them that I have traveled around the world. I have been incredibly surprised how few people travel – most will say that they have gone on a vacation package somewhere south. Seems that because I am self-employed, travel, and am a solo-single mom, I don’t have to worry about telling them there is no fit. They already have their runners on and are off! Intimidation factor is alive and well over here!
There was one occasion where within seconds, the guy said, “this isn’t going to work is it?” I said that regardless, I enjoyed meeting him and that it was OK, we are are very different stages in our lives and I trusted the stars would align and he would meet the love of his life.
I will say nice things to men online as well. When men contact me who are far away – I am very direct and tell them that my kids are still in school and one is an athlete so the demands at home are considerable and that given their kids are gone, we are at very different stages and I won’t be there for them the way they would like. And I am sure the stars will align and the woman of their dreams will walk into their lives and I greatly appreciate that they contacted me.
You have probably guessed by now, there have not been very many second dates. And that is OK because I have only met 2 people in the last three years who I wanted to see for a second date.
Unfortunately, I have been through a whole string of men where i have not been interested, it’s tiring and makes me feel bad to constantly say ‘no’, so I’ve just stopped dating for awhile. I need to regroup.
The last two men, just within the last couple of weeks, I am embarrassed to say – I just kindof dropped out of site. I know, I know…that’s whimipy (although men do it all the time! :). I only had 2 dates with one and 1 short date with another….both from on line dating.
When I had more energy for this stuff, I liked the line, ‘I just don’t think we have a romantic connection’.
Denise, I love it… but curious, what was the response you received? Were the guys gentleman and moved on?, Or did they react negatively?? That is the real issue at hand, how do you respectfully and nicely say I’m sorry I don’t want a second date when they do!!!
Julie, if they reply negatively to you letting them know you don’t believe it’s a ‘fit’, that’s basically your solid proof of bad fit right there. Even if things did click on that date, he’s showing you his true colors! When men show & tell you who they are, believe them!
Oh, yes say you don’t want a second date but how do you phrase it without negative repercussion? 🙂
Is there any men willing to comment??
Julie, very few men know of my site.. please pass on to any friends.
*smiles*
@Shannon : It is not a matter of telling him “he’s not the one”, methink. Just of leting him know you’re not attracted without hurting his feelings or ego. Whent the guy tries to kiss you, it makes it easier, IMO. And, fortunately or not, I’ve met very few who didn’t take their chance on the first date. It makes it easier to say no then, at least for me. Because the man doesn’t show the respect I expect, so case closed most of the time…
BTW, I’ve found US men to be much more respectful and considerate in general than French. That’s why I don’t date French any longer. They tend to believe they’re irresistible and, since you’ve shared a dinner or whatever, they’re entitled to have you in their bed. No guys, it doesn’t work this way, with me at least. Not that it never happened to me with an American, it is far from being systematic though. You can well tell the guy is VERY interested, he would still respect you though. Not that he would not be more than happy to spend the night with you, he’s smart enough to understand he would jeopardize his chances for a second date though. French believe they’re such outstanding lovers that, if you “try” them, you’ll adopt them. :b It may be a cultural thing, or I may have been lucky with Americans, i don’t know… But that’s my experience.
@ Lizzie : We seems to date more or less the same way and I’ve met none who was creepy either. All interesting people each in his way. It doesn’t mean they always match me though… Like you, I travel a lot worldwide (and I like it), I’m a self-employed and a single mom. Now I’ve met NONE this would discourage of having a relationship with me. It is even the opposite : it seems it makes me look even more interesting and attractive (beside maybe that I have a 14 years old as I am 52. Few men my age or over are not keen on having a teenager at home again when their children are all grown-ups. It is not the rule though, Particularly because I am well organized and this doesn’t prevent me from doing a lot of things and being available for them).
Maybe because I date mostly from the Internet and those I meet already know about that ? This is clearly mentioned in my different online profiles anyway, so… I’m not gonna waste my time meeting men who see my situation as an obstacle, am I ?
@ Julie : Ditto ! I date professional, educated men too. All interesting people in their ways, like I said. Most could make good friends, me think. Very few though, could make a good match. So I often try, as much as possible to keep the relationship going on another level. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always work. 🙁 Yet the reaction I get is usually different from the one you get. They don’t send me to hell ! LOL It is not more pleasant though. They sigh, take a resigned look and I hear things like “Of course, I would have bet it, you’re too good for me”, or “I should have known”, that kind of stuff… Some even sometimes cry, would you believe ! How embarrassing ! And I sware, I am not rude or tough, I watch my words a lot, sometimes i even put the blame on myself so that they don’t feel they’re inadequate. It doesn’t make much of a difference though… :/
At the very best, they just answer “Okay” with that same resigned look. :/
I’ve had few who would leave right away, clearly showing that what they were here for was certainly not trying to get to know me better but a sentimental (or physical) relationship or nothing. OK, I can respect that, even if I don’t find it utmostly elegant.
And very few got slightly mad at me like you said, trying to put the blame on something else than the lack of attraction, and clearly showing their weak point and recurrent complex. Like “it’s because I’m too old, too young, not fun enough, not interesing enough, not this, too that…”. Most of the time, their assumptions are wrong, but comfirm me in the idea they’re definitely not for me. So, if they don’t feel good then, it is not my issue, it is theirs. Let them work a little bit on themselves and their issues and basta !
As most insist afterwards and, since they’ve got my email address, keep sending me notes and stuff in hope I may change my mind, I often eventually tell them I’ve found somebody else. This usually works well but, of course, it is not an argument you can use face to face on a first date. 🙂
@Shannon : It is not a matter of telling him “he’s not the one”, methink. Just of leting him know you’re not attracted without hurting his feelings or ego. Whent the guy tries to kiss you, it makes it easier, IMO. And, fortunately or not, I’ve met very few who didn’t take their chance on the first date. It makes it easier to say no then, at least for me. Because the man doesn’t show the respect I expect, so case closed most of the time…
BTW, I’ve found US men to be much more respectful and considerate in general than French. That’s why I don’t date French any longer. They tend to believe they’re irresistible and, since you’ve shared a dinner or whatever, they’re entitled to have you in their bed. No guys, it doesn’t work this way, with me at least. Not that it never happened to me with an American, it is far from being systematic though. You can well tell the guy is VERY interested, he would still respect you though. Not that he would not be more than happy to spend the night with you, he’s smart enough to understand he would jeopardize his chances for a second date though. French believe they’re such outstanding lovers that, if you “try” them, you’ll adopt them. :b It may be a cultural thing, or I may have been lucky with Americans, i don’t know… But that’s my experience.
@ Lizzie : We seems to date more or less the same way and I’ve met none who was creepy either. All interesting people each in his way. It doesn’t mean they always match me though… Like you, I travel a lot worldwide (and I like it), I’m a self-employed and a single mom. Now I’ve met NONE this would discourage of having a relationship with me. It is even the opposite : it seems it makes me look even more interesting and attractive (beside maybe that I have a 14 years old as I am 52. Few men my age or over are not keen on having a teenager at home again when their children are all grown-ups. It is not the rule though, Particularly because I am well organized and this doesn’t prevent me from doing a lot of things and being available for them).
Maybe because I date mostly from the Internet and those I meet already know about that ? This is clearly mentioned in my different online profiles anyway, so… I’m not gonna waste my time meeting men who see my situation as an obstacle, am I ?
@ Julie : Ditto ! I date professional, educated men too. All interesting people in their ways, like I said. Most could make good friends, me think. Very few though, could make a good match. So I often try, as much as possible to keep the relationship going on another level. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always work. 🙁 Yet the reaction I get is usually different from the one you get. They don’t send me to hell ! LOL It is not more pleasant though. They sigh, take a resigned look and I hear things like “Of course, I would have bet it, you’re too good for me”, or “I should have known”, that kind of stuff… Some even sometimes cry, would you believe ! How embarrassing ! And I sware, I am not rude or tough, I watch my words a lot, sometimes i even put the blame on myself so that they don’t feel they’re inadequate. It doesn’t make much of a difference though… :/
At the very best, they just answer “Okay” with that same resigned look. :/
I’ve had few who would leave right away, clearly showing that what they were here for was certainly not trying to get to know me better but a sentimental (or physical) relationship or nothing. OK, I can respect that, even if I don’t find it utmostly elegant.
And very few got slightly mad at me like you said, trying to put the blame on something else than the lack of attraction, and clearly showing their weak point and recurrent complex. Like “it’s because I’m too old, too young, not fun enough, not interesing enough, not this, too that…”. Most of the time, their assumptions are wrong, but comfirm me in the idea they’re definitely not for me. So, if they don’t feel good then, it is not my issue, it is theirs. Let them work a little bit on themselves and their issues and basta !
As most insist afterwards and, since they’ve got my email address, keep sending me notes and stuff in hope I may change my mind, I often eventually tell them I’ve found somebody else. This usually works well but, of course, it is not an argument you can use face to face on a first date. 🙂
PS : Julie, gentlemen who move on with grace are not legions, I’m afraid ! LOL They may behave as gentlemen as long as they expect something from you. When it becomes clear they won’t have it, no matter how nice and considerate you try to be, they show their true colors. So, although it is never pleasant to experience, at least it spares you the potential regret of having mistaken and let go a wonderful balanced gentleman. 😉
I have had only 1 man try to ‘convince’ me to continue. Most accept it with a comment that they are disappointed, but they understand and thank me for being honest. I do NOT say we can be friends, so no ‘hope’ there. I do start the conversation saying I enjoyed myself and think they are a great guy (because they are!), but that I just don’t feel the romantic connection.
BTW, it was good for me to be on the other end of being ‘convinced’…totally irritated and I felt disrespected, like my mind could be changed, like I didn’t know my own feelings. Now I know how men feel when women try to ‘convince’ them that they are the best woman they will ever meet, he doesn’t know what he’s giving up, etc.
I would love to meet a man at some point where I can say YES!
A really, really great ‘test’ for a man, and to do this very early, IS to say NO to him for something. See how he reacts. Dot is correct, if he doesn’t react in a mature manner, time to move on and NOT get emotionally involved with him.
Make fun of him too, another great test. In a kidding, fun way. See how he reacts.
@Denise, be careful making fun of a man when you first meet him even in a joking way. Doing it once I’m sure is ok, but if you do it many times in a first meeting he may be turned off. I met someone a while back who did that (she had a fun bratty personality), but it got old and frankly irritating which was a total turn off.
@Julie, Dot and the rest, I am curious where you are meeting these men?
Right, of course Jonathon, no one wants to be made fun of endlessly.
All interactions in the first stages of dating need to be fun and flirty.
I have met men:
1. At happy hour at a bar/restaurant (he was a great match for me, but the life timing was off)
2. Meetup groups – 4 men
3. On line-not very productive
When I’m ready to start dating again, I have other ideas on how to meet better quality men…hope that works!
What does “meeting” mean, Jonathon ? Do you mean “first contact” or first date” ?
Since French are out and I still live in France so far, I meet 90% of them on line first most of the time. Yet, since I don’t actively look for anything by now, I don’t bother with my online profiles any more. One of the most successful one states : “French lady to be discovered”, with few selected (not even sexy) pics of me and that’s all. LOL At least, those who contacts or have contacted me are of the kind I may like : open, curious, professional, daring and smart. I have other more complete profiles though… Since I’m far away, the cast out is soon done. The guys who looks for the girl next door are out. Good thing, since I don’t seek to date the guy next door. :b You might believe I don’t get much contacts because of that and you would be wrong. I still get far too many for my tastes. 🙂
Even when I set no real profile at all, like on FB for instance. You know my FB profile, so you can judge. When you’re not on my friends list you can see almost nothing, beside my avi. My 2 last dates, I’ve met there as I was just leading my facebooker’s life. 8/
I’ve managed to be able to call most foreign countries for free, I can easily call them any time and, since I have no real strict schedule thanks to my job, the time difference is usually not an obstacle (most of those I’ve met can’t sleep at night anyway LOL).
Of course, when the geographical distance is consequent (6 hours flight or more), it is not easy to meet over coffee ! 😀 So remain only those who are motivated enough, or enough of risk takers, or have got the means or all of that at once. Which suits me perfectly. I’ve got no time to waste any more with procrastinators, stingy ones, workoholics who’ve got no time for me, or players. Proceeding so is a good way to attract those who know what they want and are ready to do what it takes to get it, in other words, the kind I like.
This set (and it’s a rather big part already), we still have to check on the phone that there doesn’t seem to be any major uncompatibility between us. I started to date on line more than 20 years ago, even before the Internet, so I’ve become rather skilled at detecting the red flags and at making a pretty accurate opinion of people, even though I’ve not met them in the flesh. Nothing is ever 100% certain, I’ve never had bad surprises though. The men were always very close to what and who I expected to meet. And I don’t think they were disappointed either (if they were, they hid it well ! LOL).
Then we set a time and date and I usually fly to meet them, although they sometimes do. Most’d rather stay “on their ground” though. It doesn’t bother me since I like to see them in their usual environment and i love traveling. Then we’ve got one week up to one or two months to get to know one another IRL, check the chemistry out, etc, etc… Very often, I take that opportunity to meet other foreign friends in the area or whatever. So, at any rate, my ticket is not lost. 🙂
So far, that method has worked perfectly well for me. I may not have found “the forever one”, but I’ve had several lasting relationships. It didn’t work less than any other relationship I’ve had with guys of my area at least.
Another good aspect of that method is, since we can never be certain of the outcome, we always set as a rule we will be friends first whatsoever (since wev’e both checked there was enough material for that) and potentially plus, if the chemistry is right. It may sound risky, it has always perfectly worked out so far though. A deal is a deal and that kind of men usually respect it. The very proof is I am still in contact with the majority of them after sometimes years. Some are now married, some keep dating, some are still single But most keep in touch with me in a friendly manner. It is not because you can’t be lovers or because the sentimental relationship doesn’t work out that we have to become strangers when we had so much to share first place, right ? He’s no less smart, good-looking, confident, successful, witty, etc… than he was the day before. Neither am I. So… 🙂
The other ones, I’ve met “by chance”. You just need to go out a little bit to meet people, right ? Yet I don’t believe it is the best way, at least for me. You waste much more time on uninteresting people you eventually find out you’ve not got much to share with. :/
Meeting men, I meant how did you connect? online, bars, coffee shop, grocery store, facebook or fixed up by friends.
Thanks for sharing Dot.
Haha, it’s like meeting in person isn’t even an option any longer :). Actually, I think meeting in person is preferable. The first step in courtship is physical attraction. On line dating takes that right off the table, it’s backwards.
Plus, there’s too much heavy stuff going on in regard to things that don’t need to be discussed until further in the process.
Finally, waaaayyy to much misrepresentations. I have to laugh because I saw a friend of mine’s profile on Match.com and very little of it was ‘truthful’…especially, the ‘divorced’ part, she’s separated.
This is just my two cents! 🙂
Well, not my experience at all, as you’ve probably understood. :b As if people couldn’t pretend, lie or cheat in real life ! I’ve met men IRL who lied about their age, their marital status, their degrees, etc… etc…
After a while, you learn to spot them on line even more easily ! It’s very easy when you start to talk with them on the phone (and sometimes even before that, just via email). Now it may work for me because I know how to make them talk. I’m very open and non judgemental, and they may “feel” it ? I don’t know… But, so far, I’ve met none who was not what he said he was. There are webcams anyway…).
When IRL, you begin to chat with a guy at a cafe and he can tell you about anything you won’t be able to check ASAP. :/
Please note, I primarily seek to meet interesting people. If they then can become potential partners then great. If they can’t, quite as good. I guess when your primary goal is to find the 1 or nothing, you see things differently. 🙂
And, sometimes, there’s just nobody interesting in your surroundings. If you want to broaden your search, what do you do then ? (that’s a question 😉 ).
@ Jonathon : as I said, I believe you can meet people anywhere, any time. Of course, I could provide a list of what I’ve tried which worked and which didn’t. It doesn’t mean it would be the same for another person though… To meet people is easy provided you look open, available and smiling methink.
But, to me, dating on line is the best. You can save a lot of time and spare yourself the boredom of an endless dinner with somebody you eventually find out you’ve got nothing really to share with… Just my opinion, of course… 🙂
Dot
Is your question, how do you broaden your reach to more people/men?
Actually, one of the things I do in my relationship road-map program is to profile your ideal guy and set up an extensive action plan to attract him into your life.
Oh Dot! I am so excited!!! we are similar!!!
I am 53, solo single mom – the father chose not to be connected to the children and doesn’t provide support; My kids are 14 & 12 – and one is an athlete (so my schedule is a tad demanding); I am self employed; travel; active; etc etc. I am so glad to hear the men you attract are not intimidated by your choices and situation. I am looking forward to sharing experiences with you and hopefully I will learn a few things that will help me be more successful in attracting the right kind of guy.
Hey Lizzie ! Isn’t that great ? 😀
I’ve raised the first one alone, she’s not 26, doing very good as a journalist, has just settled with boyfriend. The second one is 14, she can see her father whenever she likes, since he lives in the same city, she lives with me full time though (their common choice, I didn’t interfere).
Some are intimidated, I guess… Not those I could really be interested in though. So I guess it depends on who you seek too… I believe it is important to let them know and show them there is still plenty of room in your life for them. I believe, and maybe Jonathon could confirm or not, it is what they may fear the most : that your schedule is so busy and organized it will be difficult for them to fit in. I guess they like to know and see you can adapt to their schedule also. So show flexibility. I am very flexible, very often more than them. They may also fear that you would like to take charge of everything, so let them take initiatives, show enthousiasm and appreciate. At least, that’s what I do.This is certainly not all, but what comes to mind right now. 🙂
If you want to contact me via FB, I am Dot Rose. 😉
@ Jonathon : Thanks for the wonderful blog ! It looks I’ve made a new friend thanks to you. 🙂
Yes, that was my question. So far the best answer I’ve found is on line dating. Works worldwide ! 😀 Did I miss anything ? 🙂
Hey Lizzie ! Isn’t that great ? 😀
I’ve raised the first one alone, she’s not 26, doing very good as a journalist, has just settled with boyfriend. The second one is 14, she can see her father whenever she likes, since he lives in the same city, she lives with me full time though (their common choice, I didn’t interfere).
Some are intimidated, I guess… Not those I could really be interested in though. So I guess it depends on who you seek too… I believe it is important to let them know and show them there is still plenty of room in your life for them. I believe, and maybe Jonathon could confirm or not, it is what they may fear the most : that your schedule is so busy and organized it will be difficult for them to fit in. I guess they like to know and see you can adapt to their schedule also. So show flexibility. I am very flexible, very often more than them. They may also fear that you would like to take charge of everything, so let them take initiatives, show enthousiasm and appreciate. At least, that’s what I do.This is certainly not all, but what comes to mind right now. 🙂
If you want to contact me via FB, I am Dot Rose. 😉
@ Jonathon : Thanks for the wonderful blog ! It looks I’ve made a new friend thanks to you. 🙂
Yes, that was my question. So far the best answer I’ve found is on line dating. Works worldwide ! 😀 Did I miss anything ? 🙂
Just for a laugh. I’ve just received this from a friend :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vawa2t1m5kI
Jonathon, please, feel free to delete if you don’t appreciate it. 🙂
@Dot loved this video, I plan on posting it on my wall this weekend.
Personally I think the internet is a great way to meet people and make new friends provided that it is merely an introduction and not just for having a virtual relationship.
Have a fantastic weekend and I am happy you have made new friends.
smiles
I think, bottom line, us women need to remain in tune and confident within ourselves, be honest and learn that if men react in a negative way it is obviously for the very best, and learn to not take it personally, as I find myself doing. I never want to hurt someone….I am relieving myself of the whole thing as I know truly it is in God’s hands ultimately anyway and I have NO control over how a man reacts/responds to my decision to not have a second date! I am committed to a new mind set, as long as I know I handled myself appropriately with consideration for him and class, does it really matter if he becomes nasty, rude or disrespectful?? It’s just a shame as he may end up in my ER needing O2 and I may not be able to make him priority!! LOL, Very much kidding. You do not ever know though when you may run into a person again and wish at that point you were civil and respectful!! Regardless, I truly feel most women have no intention of hurting a man in anyway it’s really something they must visit within themselves as they react/respond. Have a beautiful weekend to all!!! 🙂
Hi, everyone! This has actually become relevant to a posted interview of Jonathon @ my site – Liveyourdreamblog.com. It’s turned into a discussion in the comments of part II about how paying or not paying is a BIG clue you’re giving a man on proceeding with the dating. I never thought about it – but am now curious! If you want to add your voice to the discussion, it’s here – http://liveyourdreamblog.com/2010/09/26/j-aslaypartii/.
I love all the comments above – you all sound like very integrated women with a purpose!
Best regards,
Jacqueline
Dot & Lizzie, how do you both manage to own your own businesses (and earn a comfortable living, it seems), travel, parent on your own, and date? My time is consumed with work and parenting. How do you find a balance to do things you enioy for yourself? Sorry, I probably am straying from the purpose of this blog…or at least this blog post.
Maby the problem, Dot, is you and not the French men?