Alpha women and relationship ready men
When it comes to making typical household decisions, women call the shots in 43 percent of relationships surveyed by the Pew Research Center in 2008. Many of these women are often referred to as Alpha women. An alpha woman can best be described as a total B.I.T.C.H., otherwise known as a Babe In Total Control of Herself. She’s confident and assertive. She’s good looking and intelligent. She’s sassy, bossy and classy – all at the same time. And when it comes to relationship ready men, she prefers to run the show and have the final say.
For the alpha female, finding a relationship ready man is relatively easy, so long as you’re willing to overlook a few minor factors in favor of the big picture – YOUR big picture, that is. Your ideal relationship could be right under your nose, but you’d never know it because you’re too busy adding to your checklist of relationships requirements that have nothing to do with relationships and everything to do with the relationship ready man that’s right for you. The relationship ready man for you may not be as tall, handsome or as intelligent as you might have envisioned, but he’ll make up for it in other ways if given the chance.
There are two types of relationship ready men that fare well for the Alpha woman, which you can learn more about in my book, Understand Men Now, your personal guide to understanding men in relationships. The important thing to note here is that both these type of men share one common characteristic. They are both Beta men who are usually attracted to the Alpha woman who likes being in control. Beta men are less dominant than their Alpha male counterparts and tend to be submissive in their relationships. When an Alpha woman pairs up with an Alpha male, there is often a power struggle for control within the relationship, which is why Alpha women have more successful relationships with men who are less assertive and more acquiescent.
If you are the type of woman who knows exactly what she wants and goes for it, then the Beta man is the perfect relationship ready man for you. He’ll worship the ground you walk on and treat you with the utmost respect because he values and cherishes you. He admires your courage and strength and places you on a pedestal because he feels lucky that you chose him. He knows he’s not the best looking guy or smoothest guy in the room, so he does everything within his power to make sure your relationship needs are being met, especially when it comes to satisfying you in the bedroom. A deep desire to please you is the Beta man’s best quality yet. This relationship ready man will be your biggest ally because he has no doubts about putting his complete faith and trust in you.
Do you want to be in control of your relationships? Do you want to be admired and treated with respect? Do you want someone who is willing to follow your lead and won’t butt heads with you? Do you want a relationship ready man who will support your dreams and help make them come true? Then try not to overlook the nice guy trying to start a conversation with you; he just might be the relationship ready man for you.
I am not so sure about alpha females pairing up with beta men.
I see myself as an Alpha Female and my husband as a Beta Man. We have been married for 7 years, and even though he loved and worshiped me at the begining of owr relatiioship for all the reasons mentioned on your post, as time goes by, he resents me more and more for being who I am. Which is why he fell in love with me in the first place.
Maybe in the end, me like to be in control, even if te are betas.
As an Alpha Female myself, I think there is some truth to this. Beta men are drawn to Alpha females because we have what they lack. But, like Flo says, problems arrive later on in the relationship when the man becomes resentful and emasculated. Often these relationships lack sexual chemistry as well. I prefer an Alpha male who brings out the Beta female in me. While I like to be an Alpha in the business world, it gets very tiring to be this way in my personal life.
I totally agree with the above comments.Been married to a Beta male for 37 years and while it was great for the first 12 years and while I am not totally Alpha and he is not totally Beta he has come to resent me greatly over the years for sorting things that he asked me to !
Even though I did things for him with great tact and love he still has withdrawn a lot of love. He has become emotionally unavailable in lots of ways despite being as you describe as above in the first ten years.
Then he has had affairs with ,you guessed it ,totally over the top Alpha women.!
Another agreement with the ladies above and here’s my take: I was raised by a single mom who had to do everything and told me when I was young to never rely on men (bad mommy). Because I have been trying to get the Type A out of me since realizing in college how dysfunctional that is with other ppl, most specifically in relationships. Well I’m 36 now with a 5 week old baby and single…the dad and I were engaged, had power struggles, and I reverted back to being too strong for my own good! My lifelong desires of a traditional family (NOT to be a single mom like I was raised) were lost in the instinctual fight or flight struggle btwn Alpha fem & Beta male. Same thing happened as the other ladies described in their marriages (resentment, emasculation, he thinks I always belittle). And I wonder if the only man suited for me is one that came ‘tame’ me unless I can tame myself to get back with my ex-fiancé. But finding an Alpha male with an infant now, forget it!
I don’t know how you ladies spent *years* married, when I and my ‘beta’ couldn’t even get off the ground! The Beta male is more sensitive, after feeling emasculated and now emotionally withdrawn doesn’t want his Alpha female, even tho he wants aspects (of me), it’s not in him to “rise to the occasion” and be the head of the household for the family. I’m being factually honest here, not insulting. He really can’t get passed certain things regardless of the importance of being a family.
So I have no choice but to try and change myself from being a headstrong woman in hopes that someday he’ll see me as he once did in the beginning and just after birth. But like the saying goes “People never forget the way you make them feel.” And I’m no exception, I ask myself how I could take back someone who’s not strong enough & not been there for me!? I guess he’s just Alpha enough to hold his ground on being appart, but not Alpha enough to demand we work it out…this is Beta right?
I have to laugh at the number of ladies named Renee (like me) who are commenting! I had a past marriage very similar to what these ladies are describing. Jonathan, perhaps we need you to clarify what you are describing as a Beta man? I am very intrigued.
I am currently in a great relationship with a man who I believe may be what you call Beta, but then he is Alpha in some areas – in his career and as head of the household with his children from a previous marriage. I absolutely love the combination of his strength and tenderness! And, I love that I am completely free to relax and be more Beta with him – although I enjoy being Alpha in my career. I would describe our relationship as two equals enjoying a wonderful dance. I love letting him lead the male role and he enjoys providing me the space to be feminine, all the while admiring my abilities in my career and respecting my intelligence and other strengths. Is this what you mean by a Beta man, Jonathan? Thanks!
I have to be alfa all the time. Its nice when I can let that go at times to a man that lets me be a lady. It sometimes is hard to let it go though….. :o)
Renee,
The dance between the masculine and the feminine shifts when we have extremes such as Alpha personalities. The shear nature of the Alpha is to be in-charge if a woman is truly in that energy, don’t you think the polarity would be to choose a beta male?
Jonathan – you had eight women in your comment thread explain to you precisely why your suggestion doesn’t work — and that’s the best you can do? To just repeat the suggestion that it’s already been reiterated eight times (in this thread alone; don’t get me started on the rest of the real world) doesn’t work??
Beta Males are men who don’t need to be in charge or have control issues. These men are kind nurturing considerate cherish and respect their lady. These men don’t need to be in charge. However, these men need to be masculine in the bedroom for the Alpha female to surrender her masculine traits.
The nature of Alpha is to be in control hence there best mate is a beta, this goes for men and women.
Now if the blog was called Strong, Confident and Independent women, then I would suggest a man who blends quite nicely into your life.
Alpha’s are an extreme and they work best with those who are their opposite.
Does that help?
“Does that help?”
Not really, no.
Because it’s not responsive to the concerns of the people asking questions.
Somehow, though, I get the feeling that part isn’t mattering to you very much.
:-/