Men don’t really fear commitment as some of us might have you believe. What we men really fear is making the wrong choice…
In a few hours, I am going to be interviewed on live television for a Valentine’s Day Special on an ABC Talk-show
They say that public speaking ranks as one of the highest fears someone might face–even higher than dying.
So as I prepared for this segment, my girlfriend gave me a GREAT suggestion.
Rather than focusing on the negative, she said to me: Say this in your mind…
“HOW COOL IS THIS?”
“How cool is this?” I remarked.
Yes, that’s right. Cool is associated with FUN. So how can there be fear when we are having fun?
I’ll let you know in a few hours if this trick works. So, how does this relate to men and commitment? Well…
When it comes to relationships, men don’t actually fear commitment. What men really fear is making the wrong choice. Often, people who fear making decisions tend to vacillate and procrastinate in an effort to avoid the choices they must make. Making decisions requires confidence. It requires a degree of certainty.
The irony is that fear of commitment may mask a desperate desire for the intimacy and security that comes from a healthy long-term relationship. Sometimes, we fear most what we most need.
What men want most is to feel safe. What men crave most is a sense of home. Sometimes men get so bound up in what is wrong now, we stop looking at how things could be right…in the future. There are many benefits, both physical and mental, to being in a healthy relationship. Women know this, men do not.
So, what can you do?
As my sweetheart said before I left for the studio:
“HOW COOL IS THIS?”
How cool is your relationship?
How much fun are you really having together? Do you play together? Are you laughing together? Men don’t fear fun, right?! Is your relationship FUN? Fun is a cornerstone to a healthy relationship.
When I wrote my eCourse The Relationships Men Commit To and Why, I included one key to commitment.
On page 102 of the ebook, the chapter is called: “Keys to the Kingdom”.
There are four keys. Have you heard of them? Can you guess what they are? Are you thinking, or do you already know?
Without a doubt, FUN is on the top of the list.
Fun is associated with cool.
How cool is this?
How cool is my relationship?
Men have no problem making a decision when it involves FUN. When the choice is fun, the decision is already made.
He chooses YOU!
Once again, imho, you hit it square ON!! And, if the essentials are there. the 5Cs, how could we not want to make him feel safe and give him that deep sense of home? When the stars align, it is SOOOO easy to spot and SOOOO FUN to watch that develop and blossom. Neither party is worried, afraid, doubting, or any of those nagging conflicted feelings. Both are comfy, self-assured, confident and having a blast!!
I’ve learned sooo much from you and your sweetie!!
THANKS!!!
WOW this totaly makes sense to me and I am having an aha moment. Just walked away from a guy after dating over a year. He didnt have time to get me a B-day card or anything for that matter and he told me he would make it up to me…after 2 weeks he never did and the fun went buh bye because I was hurting so much I shut down and shut him out. We talked 66 weeks later in one breath he says I care about you more than I let on and in another breath he see obsticals…we live 50 miles apart he cares for his elderly parents and I have children. He even said he got scared and pushed me away…anyway thanks for the AHA moment….