The Advantages of Dating a Divorced Man
We all have our memories of dating in our teens and twenties; the awkward movements, the two seconds of silence that seemed like an eternity, the first phone conversation, the first touch, kiss. So many emotions and not just because it involved a romance, but these experiences were new to us for the first time in our lives.
As much as we cherish those sweet tender moments, we need to realize that we can also relish romance when dating later in life. You may wish to consider the advantages of dating a divorced man.
Sometimes women perceive men as being so strong that they are incapable of experiencing vulnerability. Some men who have gone through the pains of divorce have come to the realization that they have made mistakes in the marriage and not only long to make progress in personal development, but hope to enjoy a healthy happy relationship with the right partner.
Many divorced men tend to be more passionate because they are unfettered and free possibly for the first time in many years. The dance of love they had wanted to embrace may not have been possible with their previous partner, so imagine the thrill of anticipation they have to find a woman willing to learn the steps to tango in this new season of his life.
Men who are worth your emotional investment are those who tend to be more vulnerable. They may be trying to figure out why the last relationship didn’t work. He may want to avoid repeating those mistakes and has a clearer picture of what he desires in a relationship and won’t be hesitant in sharing his heart on those matters. He does not want to waste his time or yours if you do not want to travel in the same direction with him. He may be very aware of years of happiness he has lost and longs to enjoy life again with a woman he can date and relate to in a deeper level of intimacy.
So if you have not found your Prince Charming, don’t despair. He may be the divorced man you have not yet noticed. Diamonds in the rough are not easily recognized at first glance. But with a little attention, their facets start to shine through. The advantages of dating a divorced man may surprise and dazzle you.
Jonathan, you make all this sound most idyllic.
But if you forget to tell the tale of
– the divorced man who’s “Just Not Ready for a Relationship” where you end up being the rebound woman (unless you have the good sense to stay away)
– the kids who resent you for “trying to take their mother’s place” even though you’re doing no such thing
– the ex who Just Forgets to pick up the kids the weekend you’ve planned a vacation with your new man, thus ruining it for the two of you, and
– the money the divorced man can’t spend on any children the two of you have together because the ex is getting it all having argued for it for the “first family”,
then really – at best and at most, aren’t you only telling half the story?
:-/.
Dear IM,
You make a great point and all of what you stated should be on your radar for dating divorced men. After counseling hundreds of women hearing their horror stories of dating divorced men, I just wanted to share some positive aspects of dating these guys.
In my program Is He Your Knight or Your Nightmare, I address both the negatives and the positives.
I agree with you Jonathan. Being divorced with children myself, it was much easier to relate to a divorced man with children. We met on an online dating site since neither of us had time to go out and “meet” someone. We had so much in common it was uncanny. I think our previous marriages and failures have just made us wiser, more experienced and able to identify what we truly want in a life partner now. I really don’t think a single man could relate or accept a lot of what has transpired or current situations. It’s been over 2 years and we have finally decided to become one big family (5 teenagers between both of us). Dating a divorced man is the best thing that ever happened to me. 🙂
i have dated several divorced men and it never ever worked out. now i m wary of dating divorced men. the first reaction they give me is “how come a girl so pretty and never being married wants to see a divorced man?”..of course i dont take their comments personally as i know they are flattered. coming to the real dating, i have found that divorced men are less likely to be spontaneous, natural in the dating game.they seem to be rather “heavy”, some sort of emotional baggage or emotional burden hanging over their heads. they seem less likely to woo you or chase you. that boyishness, that charm, that honesty, its just not there. they seem like way bit too mature, cold and serious types. for me, it just ends up in a philosophical or a intellectual date , never a seriously romantic or playful one. the fun adventure, spontaneity is just not there. i have had this happen so many times that i have stopped dating separated or divorced men.
Jonathon, what would say of a wounded bear that can’t seem to speak of anything emotional? We go out on dates, he’s very attentive. Open’s the car door for me, cooks for me. I see him three times over the weekend. Sex is off the charts. Been dating a year now.
But not once has he told me he thinks I’m pretty, or he likes me. He will make round about coments to see that we are only dating each other, but I’m stumped here. Never had this happen before. I do the waiting game, wait for him to call me. I try not to chase. I tell him now and again, he’s very special to me, and I get no reply.
I’m at a loss here.
Any help would be appreciated.
Dear Sandy,
Please listen to my free audio
How to Get Any Man to Open Up in 10 Minutes
http://understandmennow.com/free-gift/
Wonderful points altogether, you simply won a emblem new reader. What could you recommend about your submit that you made some days in the past? Any certain?
I am more concerned with the single, never married man, who has never had a long-term serious relationship. There are those who have never married but were engaged and/or had a significant partner for several years before parting ways. I group the later in the same category as divorced men. However, the eternal bachelor who has only had fleeting connections and has fear of bonding/attachment to significant other is a choice I would forgo all together. If I had to choose between Mr. Forever Bachelor vs. Divorced Guy (with or without kids)… I’d choose the divorced guy with or without kids. At least they can commit and take on adult responsibilities and experiences.
Good, thought provoking article. However, I’m not convinced. I’ll take a never married, childless man over a divorcee — ALL DAY, EVERYDAY! Everyone has preferences and this is one of mine. While I don’t know what the future holds for me, I do know that if I find myself dating a divorcee, I’d be taking it really slow to figure out who he is. And, more importantly, is he right for me and how does his ex-drama affect anything new we’d build.