A Man Who Can Use Power Tools… Is That A Bonus?
While cleaning out my girlfriend’s garage this morning my skills as a manly man were quite lacking. From spacial orientation to the proper use of a wet-vac, my dysfunction was quite obvious when it comes to manual labor. Let’s face it, I’m not one of those “fix it” kinda guys. Changing a light bulb is all I’m good for. My only real asset is the ability to do heavy lifting given my 6’2″ 225 lbs. frame.
After posting this on my Facebook wall, a lively discussion took off about men who are handy around the house. The general consensus was that men who are able to fix things and who are handy were far more attractive than their counterparts.
So let me ask you, what male attributes are really important in relationship? Is it integrity? Honesty? Generosity? Listening? Communicating? Partnership?
What about the men whose actions match their words? How about the men who call when they say they are going to call? What about the men who plan dates? How about men who are committed to partnership?
What is a manly man? Can it be a man who can hold you when you are feeling down? Can it be a man who will stand by your side when you are in pain? Can it be a man who knows when you need a hug?
These days what constitutes a manly man in relationship, integrity and honesty or does he also need to be proficient using power-tools?
My hope is that a man who shows up present is truly sexy and a man who knows how to fix things is just a bonus.
Can I have all of the above? I’m not that picky. I like a man that shows up, doesn’t rub me the wrong way, knows his way around a truck, a horse, and power tools. He doesn’t need to read my mind because I’ll give him a piece of it if he needs it. He doesn’t need to know how to cook, but he better know how to bring home the meat and take his dishes into the kitchen after eating. 🙂
Jonathon, you compare men who can show integrity, honesty, generosity, etc… with the handy ones. As if the handy ones couldn’t show all those qualities as well ! I suspect you may be slightly biased. 😉 Because those who can show all those qualities you mention AND be good with their hands as well are obviously more ressourceful and a better deal, aren’t they ?
Why not encourage all the men to learn those simple skills instead (as well as cooking, ironing, wacumming, etc, etc…) ? :p
A man with a bonus will always get more chances than one without. 😉
Bonus ;-))
TTomms08
Can you have it all, I suppose so and of course you can.
Many women spend their entire lives searching for the man who has it all.
In fact, I would think it’s great when we find a partner who has every quality we most admire.
Here is the thing, do we exchange a person for falling short in certain areas? What is really most important in a relationship. What are the qualities and values that most matter to you?
As a coach, I spend countless hours with women who spend time looking for the “all” My job is often to help a woman take a step back and ask what is really most important and work from there.
Having it all, would be great. Loving someone for who they are (when most of your values match), to me that’s even better.
Here’s my 2c and my preference……..NOTHING beats presence if it’s consistent, or nearly so in my book. I love it if he can do the power tool thing but don’t really care if he can’t. I also think it’s not just learning, that spatial perception is something that comes easily or it doesn’t. Presence, decency + the willingness to learn are all seriously sexy to me. The combination is dynamite.
I prefer more action then words….uless sending a little text here and there just to say hi or confirmning stuff….words are just words action is satisfaction
I have had the unique opportunity of comparing both types up close and personal.
K is a doer, and all about finding solutions to problems. I felt lonely and isolated in the relationship. When I tried to talk about emotional intelligence, inner healing, and relationships with him, he just callously said, “I don’t want to hear that psycho-babble!”
R is a feeler, and, after 4 years, he knows me far more intimately than any other human being on earth! I melt in his presence, and our long, long conversations deep into the night have provided endless joy. This man is the crowning moment of my life!
When I come away from a deep, rich conversation with R, I feel like I am floating. And suddenly all the tasks of the world feel effortless! I would rather have a sensitive, intuitive type of man. Even tho I may have to change my own car headlight or what-have-you, petty tasks feel miniscule in light of the deep, rich relationship I have.
What do you think or feel?
But ya gotta admit, a guy who really knows how to use his Makitas is damn hot!
Hi Jonathon, I agree with you on this, what is more important for a woman? We have to realize that while it is appealing to think we want the man to have it all, ask ourselves if we have it all for them? As coach I do the same as you described what is most important for a woman? Sometimes the list comes with all of the qualities above, but the real search is for the skills? Why is that are the skills more obvious?
What about reversing the roles? I am a woman that would rather be in the garage refinishing a piece of furniture but rarely will you find me in the kitchen with the pots and pans! I have a high level of integrity, value honesty, am present and very appreciative of my man, but frequently am viewed and treated as “one of the guys” or find that men don’t quite know how to handle a woman that owns more power tools then he does. I still love to be feminine and put on a dress and makeup, but during the work week it’s jeans, t-shirts and a baseball cap! It is my impression that men have trouble accepting both sides of me…
Lily,
What we believe, we attract.
Is it REALLY true… do ALL men in the world have trouble accepting a woman who knows how to use power tools?
A few years back I dated a woman who wore jeans, t-shirts, baseball cap and knew how to fix things. To me, I said: “how cool is that?”
Let me just say, there are an abundance of men who would be attracted to you just the way you are.
My wife says nothing makes her hotter than my rough hands, watching me work on my truck or when I come home home smelling like sawdust as I’m a carpenter. Her father is a “man’s man” and she says she couldn’t imagine being married to someone that can’t work with his hands because that’s the kinda male presence she’s had her whole life. I agree, men are getting less and less hands on, I have to do insanely basic repairs for people all the time. Sometimes I think to myself “really? Your husband couldn’t do this?” But hey I get paid well for doing simple tasks so I’ll take it.
hi