Why Men Leave The Minute They Become Vulnerable
Have you ever been in a relationship where a man bolted the minute he became vulnerable?
That’s right, the moment he let his guard down he was gone. You might be wondering why would any man do this, leave the second he opens his heart.
How could this happen given that you’re the most loving, kind, compassionate and understanding woman out there? You’re thinking he’s safe with me to share his feelings, there’s no need to run. But here you are scratching your head wondering how could this happen (AGAIN).
You’re not the type to judge a guy for his baggage. You’re not the type to run scared if he shares his soft side. You’re not the type to make a man feel bad when he opens his heart.
You’re the girl who welcomes a man’s vulnerable side. In fact, if he cries, he’s in a safe place. So how could this happen? Why would he disappear the moment he opens his heart? The answer is simple and you even know what it is…. he’s scared.
Why would he be scared, Jonathon, given that he knows I’m safe?
The reality my friend is this, before a man becomes a man, he starts off as a boy.
As boys we are taught to keep our emotions in for fear of being ridiculed as kids. If we ever showed emotions on the playground, we would be laughed at, teased, made fun of or picked on as the emotional kid. What’s worse, our fathers reinforced this by reminding us that emotions in public are BAD. That’s right, our greatest male role model told us it’s bad to show our emotions in public.
But Jonathon, my boyfriend has shared his emotions a lot. He’s told me about the problems with his “ex” or shared how hard it is at work. He’s told me about how frustrating it is to be a part-time parent to his kids. He’s shared a lot of his problems with me and that’s how we became close in the beginning, so I don’t understand?
Yes, I get it, it’s all so confusing.
But here’s the thing my friend, all he’s really done is share his problems.
All of these things were PROBLEMS.
There’s a big difference between PROBLEMS vs. FEAR.
That’s right, FEAR is a whole other story.
We men have all kinds of fears, we keep it tightly locked in.
But Jonathon, he’s brought me into his confidence, so he must trust me.
Here’s the thing, what’s going on in your man’s mind is the following…
Come closer to the screen, you won’t want to miss this.
Take a few quick breaths and just relax into what I’m about to tell YOU.
Here’s just a few things men fear most.
We fear needing you. because it makes us feel indebted.
We fear losing your respect, if you knew us better.
We fear not being see as a man, if we can protect you.
We fear falling too deeply, before we’re ready to fully commit.
So the minute we feel fear, we bolt. It might be for a minute, it might be a day, it might be a week… but in these moments, we need space. Here’s the good news my friend. There are 3 things you can do to keep your man close when this happens.
In fact, as I’m writing this email, I can tell you that I felt most of these fears.
Now I’ve told you how happily in love I am. I’ve even said I’m deliriously in love. I have the biggest crush on my beloved. Over the past 28 months, we have formed a nice partnership. This relationship was built over time and trust. This trust allowed me to surrender to my fears. This trust was the result of 3 things she did that kept bringing me back whenever I…
Felt fear, questioned the relationship or wanted to retreat in my cave.
In the past when this happened, other women did the wrong things which pushed me away.
Learn what my sweetheart does that keeps me, loyal to the relationship and madly in love CLICK HERE.
John says
It’s very simple: women can not be trusted. And you can blame yourself and your sisters for it. You’re lucky you get a few dates, or even one date, or even a smile from one of us. Because you don’t deserve it. We know you will reveal your true self sooner or later, so we are avoiding you to start with. Get used to it – it’s the new normal. And men have never been happier.
Aurora says
Ok lol
Lucy says
There’s a case of playing the victim if I’d ever seen one
Gigi says
Daaaaaaaamn. Who was she?
Jane says
Have fun being alone forever John…you make no sense.But so glad you speak for “all men”…
John says
Thanks; I’m having a great time. All men do feel this way, but I’m one of the few who will admit it. Don’t believe me?
99.99% of all the complaints about relationships are written by women. You are the ones who don’t know what you want and are impossible to please. What I wrote “make(s) no sense” to you because you are a woman and don’t comprehend simple, uncomplicated truths.
Amy says
Not all women are bad, not all men are bad.
If given the chance I would love a man unconditionally, but men are so scared that the moment they feel they are happy with me….they leave.
Life is about taking chances. Love is worth the great chance especially with a woman who will love you unconditionally.
John says
There is no such thing as a woman who will love you unconditionally. And shame on you for trying to lure men into your trap.
sahsa says
John you do know that there are actually many men out there very happy with their relation ships right?
Rose says
Except when you’re a girl that gets bullied for being too sensitive.
In school I cried and both boys and girls made fun of me.
Also I know boys who fake cry and get away with it because everyone believes boys can’t fake cry.
Lol.
I once genuinely cried (because I would never “use” tears) and a guy said “slap her.”
Also, my dad lied to my mom a lot, soooooo.