Why Is Finding Love After 40 So Difficult?

Finding love after 40 is not for the faint of heart. In your 20s, it was easy to meet men at work, clubs or other social events.

After 40, the blending of lives makes things more complicated in establishing new relationships. Some of these factors include children, finances, toxic past relationships and geographical distances. These experiences can cause you to keep your guard up.

Re-entering the dating scene after a major life change can be a scary proposition. The rules and traditions have definitely changed. It certainly isn’t easy to navigate the route to a successful relationship later in life, but it can be done successfully.

First, don’t be afraid to try new things. Check out online dating, get a gym membership, get involved in community service activities or find some activities you enjoy in your local MeetUp groups.

Then, consider our society’s current mating rituals. They are typically based on physical appearance, chemistry, financial success and an expectation that a man should lead without even doing the preliminary groundwork to see if there’s a fit. This is why men bail once they have clarity that it’s not going to work out.

What appears to be missing from where I sit is the drive to connect as friends. Observe happy couples around you and see what you can learn from them. Talk to them about what makes their relationship a vibrant and long lasting one. They’ll probably be more than happy to talk to you and will probably cite a deep friendship as foundational to their success.

What are the foundations of a good friendship? Friends don’t keep score. The old adage about relationships being a 50/50 proposition isn’t really a good one. A true commitment will inspire you give as much as you can, even if some days your partner is only giving 30% (or vice versa!)