When the First Date Goes Wrong

You’re on a first date and things are not going well. As a matter of fact within 20 minutes you feel like vomiting (or just running out of the room.) For whatever reason, you aren’t feeling it with this person and the evening needs to end now.

What do you do? Be polite and stick it out for the entire evening? Or do you own your truth and politely mention that it’s not working for you and excuse yourself?

Many women try to be polite and hang in there. They’ll find a neutral topic to talk about and just stick it out (though they may pass on coffee and dessert!)

Remember that you can learn something from everyone. Just because you’re not feeling it, you can still try to have an enjoyable time.

You may want to evaluate why this person doesn’t seem to be your type. Do you have an unrealistic image of your ideal guy in mind? Is he a little short or just doesn’t dress just the way you’d like?

Look past the superficial and see what’s going on inside. Maybe you have some common ground that will surface after a little conversation. Does he seem genuinely interested in you or does he just want to talk about himself?

As you continue speaking with him, mentally evaluate his character. How does he speak about his family, friends, or his job? This will give you insight on how he will treat a potential partner. Just keep the conversation friendly and informal. You don’t want the date to come across as an interview.

If you hang in there, you just might find that you’ve found a gem in a slightly unexpected package.

Now, on the other hand, if the guy has terrible personal hygiene, starts insulting you, getting drunk or otherwise acting boorishly, you’re well within your boundaries to politely excuse yourself and just leave. You’ll probably want to ask for a separate bill so there is no feeling of obligation.

If the date has been a total wash, evaluate your screening procedures for next time. Be sure you’re asking the right questions and getting as accurate a picture as you can before you commit to a meetup. You also might want to consider meeting for coffee the first time so that there’s less pressure and you can make a quick exit if you need to.

He says one thing but does another. Does trying to understand the male mind make you a bit crazy? Believe it or not men really do want to be in healthy relationships. In Unlocking the Male Mind I’ll share my own insights about men and what they’re really thinking!

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