“My Children Are My Priority”

My Children Are My Priority

Often I see dating profiles that emphasize the busy schedule of parents who have children living at home. As a parent myself, I have great compassion and respect for those who are raising children and trying to date.

However, as a dating coach I encourage clients to initially downplay and avoid the phrase “my children are my priority” because it sends a subliminal message that this person is unavailable. Using this language is essentially using your children as a shield. If a dating profile states that you’re a parent, it goes without saying that your children are important, and there’s no need to overstate it.

Now some might argue “If a person can’t appreciate that I’m a parent, then I don’t want them.” That’s not what I’m saying; I’m just suggesting that words like “busy or priority” suggests a lack of accessibility or time for a relationship which is a turn off. An online dating profile is merely meant to pique a person’s interest to meet for a date and should convey an easy process. Besides, most people wait until a relationship is established to introduce children anyway.

A potential partner wants to know that you will have some availability for them, and not consistently be put on the back burner because of family responsibilities. Also by overstating the importance of your children it could be implied that you might be expecting a potential partner to immediately step in and assume a parental role.

Now, it’s important to strike the right balance here. Your young children are the priority, and there is something wrong if a woman immediately puts a new man’s needs ahead of her parental responsibilities. Another scenario might be if you are the parent of a child with special needs. While you don’t have to put it on an online dating profile, it should be openly discussed early on in the relationship, as there is going to be an extra measure of understanding and patience to make a dating or long term relationship work in your situation.

Finally, if you see the relationship has the potential to become serious over the long term, it’s probably a great idea to begin learning about blended family dynamics.

Is it really possible to find love online? In Finding Love Online: 7 Mistakes You’re Making When Seeking True Love and How To Do It Right I’ll show you how to create a standout profile, avoid scammers and much more!

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