How To Begin Again After Disappointment
We’ve all been through that big disappointment or break up at some point in our lives. They’re hard to recover from… typically because you might feel like giving up or because one or both of you have decided to just move on.
However, it’s important to remember that if you have been lucky enough to have experienced a great love with someone, don’t give up too quickly.
There’s always a way to create an opportunity to start over and for both of you to work together on writing a new story for the next chapter in your lives.
Without a doubt, it’s devastating to go through a major shake up, but your relationship might have needed that massive earthquake to shake up the old patterns, level some of the old beliefs and create new margins. You may want to continue to move apart for a season to allow this shaking to completely subside.
Once the dust has settled (if the building is still standing, that is!) there’s a wonderful opportunity to rebuild and create a new chapter in your relationship.
- Create new agreements so that even if the fault lines underneath shake the foundation, it doesn’t have to lead to a total disaster for the relationship again.
- Develop new communication habits and rituals. Learn to see things through your partner’s eyes and honor them even if you don’t agree.
- Keep working on yourself. Learn from past mistakes and consider how you can handle problems differently in the future.
- When disappointment comes up, speak your truth gently and firmly but affirm your love and commitment.
If your love is real and one that is truly meant to be, hang in there and fight for it. Keep believing in each other and your relationship can find that new chapter. It’s never too late to try once again.
He says one thing but does another. Does trying to understand the male mind make you a bit crazy? Believe it or not men really do want to be in healthy relationships. In Unlocking the Male Mind I’ll share my own insights about men and what they’re really thinking!
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Nice article! My boyfriend and I recently agreed to split up…over Labor Day weekend is when it happened. It has been a rough three weeks and we are both miserable, but we have stuck by our decision. After this article arrived, I decided to send it to him. He actually read it (that shocked me) and asked I would be willing to visit with him about the article. I will keep you posted on how the conversation goes. Right now we are trying to find a time to “talk” when we are both available and kid free. Kindest regards! Jewely
I have recently decided to end my relationship with a man after 7 months. I learned that this person had lied to me about being divorced. 7 months after I had already grown very attached to him, he told me they were filing papers and seemed to think I should not be surprised. If it were just this that was a problem, I would have discussed it with him further. However, there were many times when he would cut our visits short on a moment’s notice, or have a meltdown about something, and I grew very tired of the behavior. Additionally, the moment when I needed his support (rumors that my department was to be laid off), he thought I was being ridiculous and wasn’t there for me. When I met him, he didn’t have a job and I was there to bolster his confidence throughout his entire job search, and when he finally got a job at the beginning of this month, he was too busy to see me for two weeks. This person was also very moody and self-centered, but I do miss some quirky and delightful things about the relationship we had. It upsets me that I miss him at all. This person also wept at the drop of a hat and was very critical. While I have been pulling away and not expressed interest in getting together again, he acts beside himself that I am not suggesting we make plans. I have started seeing another man who seems more mature, and I will see where this leads. In the future, maybe the former guy will get his act together.
I recently met a man, he had seen me about 2yrs ago else where,, about a month he got my number and came over to my place to speak to me about something and asked me of u was available for dating, and I said yes but let’s start as friends. His conversation over the phone isnt as frequent as I expected as men tends to call mall in the beginning, however, he work long hours so he claims that’s why n he isnt a phone type of conversationist, he flaked me on our 2nd date without proper explanation, then later he told me he doesn’t have a vehicle now, which is true. I asked him on the 3rd meeting what he is actually looking for n he said, we hv just met so we should gv it a time, which I agree, but I just want to know what he wants not btn the two. He said he want someone of course but let’s take it slow, but yet he kissed me for the most time I spent, for about an hour on our next meeting. His conversation isn’t making sure whether he wants casual or long term. He is a business man so he stays half of the year outside of America doing his business. Am worried that if he goes away for 6mths I wont hear much from him, should I quit allowing him to hv the intimacy with me whenever we meet? The kissing n fondling? I like him but am trying hard it doesn’t pass that at this point cos it’s just a month into the relationship. Can I ask him, are you into me or not? Or I can’t ask? Wd it make me too pushy? Cos am not ready for a heartbreak n to feel used.