Learning to Trust Again After Infidelity
One of my readers wrote to me recently …
“After learning that my husband had a secret life of extra-marital relationships during my favorite years of our marriage and intimacy, I am done. I no longer trust enough to get out there again.
I was a total romantic. I am no longer me.”
It was truly sad for me to read this comment. But saddens me even more is when I watch women freely give their power away to others. Don’t base your future happiness on the actions of another person. That’s just giving your power away.
Honestly, I have been very guilty in the past of thinking I would never be happy again without “that” person in my life (which is a form of giving my power away.)
Betrayal itself is incredibly wounding, yet you must remember that the actions of another are not a reflection of yourself. To become jaded, cynical and to have the mindset that everybody who comes along in the future will only continue to do the same only harms one person…YOU.
How can you learn to soften cynical attitudes and learn to trust again?
- Learn to recognize cynical thoughts when they crop up. Be aware of them but don’t act upon them immediately. At the same time, it is okay to trust your intuition.
- If you’re stuck in negative thought pattern, step away from it. Learn to think and practice positive thinking.
- Find the good qualities in every person who crosses your path. It doesn’t necessarily mean starting a relationship with them but it will help ease a chronic habit of cynicism.
- The future is what you make of it. You can make a conscious choice to live in fear and not reach out to try again or…
You can choose to see the endless possibilities of LOVE.
This is faith in action. Romantic love is worth fighting for. There’s no reason to punish everyone for the actions of one bad apple. Give new people who enter your life a fresh chance.
Choose joy and don’t be afraid to step out there again. Choose love and live with an open heart. Life is better when it’s shared.
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Kevin@CupidTools says
There are men who can commit themselves and make good husbands. There must be a reason why the men who are not committed behave in that manner. Lack of commitment may be caused by several factors and reasons.
Women can do several things which will make her be assured that her man will be committed. Your man may be showing an indication that he needs some commitment and here are some ways of helping him fully commit to the relationship.