There are a lot of people who disagree with my advice. Honestly, I can understand why.
I think outside the box and much of my advice falls outside of the traditional way people look at dating, mating and relating.
It can be hard for some to see my point.
The fact is if the process were easy, people wouldn’t be seeking out dating advice. They’d be blissfully in love.
Treat people the way you want to be treated
Honestly, I subscribe to an authentic and simple approach. Throw out your outdated ideas and expectations of how men and women are supposed to show up. Learn to be realistic during the dating process.
The reason why so many people are confused is because they like to complicate things. They’re spending too much time trying to figure out if they are in their masculine or feminine energy instead of just relaxing into the process of meeting new people and making new friends.
It begins with friendship
Friendship is the path to partnership in my book. Some are judging men if they show a hint of weakness while others judge women for being too strong. Friends don’t spend time figuring out what’s wrong…they focus more on liking you for who you are.
Some believe that the only way it works for men and women is polarity. However, I believe that teamwork is the best path.
*I believe in having my partner’s back.
*I believe in being present.
*Most of all I believe in showing up exactly as who you are, with no excuses.
So if you don’t like my advice and think your way is better, that’s fine. To each his own. But do some inventory and ask yourself if things are really working out for you…or if you should consider another point of view.
I’d love to hear your thoughts!
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I think it’s not a big problem at all. At least you are “some one”, event they are not happy with your knowledge.
If they’re agree, they follow. If not, they’re going to find something else somewhere but you’re going to earn respect from them
I agree with you, Jonathan! I think that the only way to find true love is being your true self. Otherwise, the other person use not really falling in love with YOU, but with a fake persona! I agree too that being friends first is the way to go. Of course, there has to be some chemistry and attraction too! I appreciate your advice, so keep up the good job.
I listened to your talk with Christine Campbell the other day and although you were right on on many things…I had to laugh about condoning sex on the first date if that’s what feels right. NO WAY. DON’T DO IT. I don’t care if you know a couple of couples where they got married even after doing that and it all worked out…because for MOST “women” who do this, it does NOT work out. I’m not saying make the guy wait for three months…in fact I think the 10 day date thing is cool…because if a guy still wants to date you that many times and hasn’t gotten sex…then he’s probably really interested in you as a “person” not just a “hole” to stick his you know what into. Then again…maybe not. Some men see bedding a woman as a challenge and why some Gurus say you should wait three months…because IF indeed they are still around then… you probably do have a Keeper. I have learned now over the past few years of being single (and refusing to settle for idiots…because boy are they out there!) that anything goes out there in the Single World. Men will try and say anything to get laid. So unless you’re one of those um…”Randy” “worldly” or perhaps just messed up (cuz women’s brains aren’t wired to act like men in the sex dept.) women who are okay sharing their bodies with whomever and whenever they want (good luck to you with that!)… I would wait for at least a few dates before jumping into bed with the guy. Respect yourself so that he respects you. Because most men think when a woman does this…”Oh, I’m nothing special…she must do do this with every guy.” And then they will move on quickly. That’s my two cents! 🙂
Thank you for responding and I think you took my statement out of context. MY belief is that everyone is a grown up and they can make grown up choices; therefore, I don’t judge a person if they want to have sex on the first date. With that said, my coaching is all empowering a woman to make good choices for herself and waiting to have sex until you know a man’s intentions is always a good policy in my book.
Well, let’s see, you stated that you believe that anywhere from date 1-10 is okay to have sex… and that there is no way in this day and age that you are going to get any kind of a commitment without a man getting to try you out sexually first. Which…I believe is the truth also. In heavy duty Christian society where they stress no sex before marriage, you may still find this, especially with the very young. But I think we all know that long term that doesn’t work too well for these couples. Intelligent, savvy people I would hope would want to know if they are compatible in bed, because sex is important. What I’m saying in my last post is that IF you want a relationship to truly work out it is better to wait and know the man and their intentions before you sleep with him because it takes longer for men to bond emotionally with a woman. Plus don’t you want to know as a woman that this guy isn’t already having sex with five other women??? You could just be one of his many. Any adult woman can take her chances and jump into bed with a man on the first or second date floating off on the hormone high…hoping that he will want to be in a relationship with her afterwards…but I guarantee you 9 times out of 10, that will not be the case. So no judgement here, adults can do what they want…I’m only cautioning women against it based on my own past experiences in jumping too quickly (that does not ever happen now) as well as countless friends who made the same mistake a few times and are still single. Also, there are many many men out there now in mid-life, especially online, who are probably good men (although there are many who are not) who have just gotten divorced and are sewing their wild oats once again and want sex, but they claim that they are not ready and do not want a relationship. Now they’re being honest as most good men will be…but so many women, especially if they like them, think that if they do have sex with the man, especially early on, that he will change his mind and fall helplessly in love with them. Probably not gonna happen. Women who truly want a “relationship” not just a fling…need to pay attention to that as well. There would be a lot less hurt feelings out there if they did.
I do like your CAARS theory. I think you’re right on. But since I am a very honest woman (bet you can tell that!! LOL!!) although you’re a cute man and I feel you know what you’re talking about regarding Singledom and using your own experiences too…(here it comes… don’t hate me!…) you have to stop calling all us women “Sweetheart.’ I know that you probably don’t mean it in a sexist way or a “beneath you” way…and it’s probably a habit of your’s you’ve picked up, but it comes across as such. It’s not coming across as endearing. If you called us all honey…it would be the same thing. Okay…well, I said it. It’s meant to be constructive. Do what you want with it. 🙂