Are You Looking for Love or a Relationship?

Are You Looking for Love or a Relationship?

This morning I woke up thinking about the two things most singles who follow my work are seeking, which are love and a relationship. However, if you had to choose only one or the other, which would you pick?

It’s not a strange question.

As a dating coach, my guess is that most people would pick love because they figure that if they love someone, they’ll naturally be in a relationship. But here’s my take, have you ever been with someone you loved but you were completely not right for each other?

Love alone cannot sustain a relationship.

Love might be the glue that keeps a relationship together when there’s friction, however love alone cannot sustain a relationship. Love is merely a byproduct of what one feels in their heart and it’s an action of giving, which means you can do it any time to anyone. If you’re expecting it from another, your relationship will most likely fail.

If you picked relationship as your answer, you must ask yourself why you want one. When you can get to the root reason for wanting a relationship, you’re one step closer to attracting the right person. Unfortunately, many choose a wrong relationship because they are codependent. They often pick a person who is not aligned with their core beliefs and struggle with friction throughout the relationship. This is evidenced by the high breakup and divorce rates that we hear about every day. The average midlifer has had at least one marriage and four or five relationships lasting more than three months.

What am I getting at here?

I’m glad you asked! Much of my work is helping women gain greater clarity and awareness in life. I try to dispel the myths and limiting beliefs about what love and relationships are all about.

To keep things simple, here’s what I suggest.

*Be the kind of person you want to attract.
*Ask the right questions in the early stages of dating.
*Chemistry is a false indicator of relationship success.
*Only date those who are aligned with your core values.
*Ask much better questions in the early stages of dating.
*Acceptance is the foundation for relationship success.
*Ask much better questions in the early stages of dating.
*Lastly, have fun and seek joy in your life.

Life is truly a journey.

Everything that happens for you and to you happens for a reason. It’s all a learning lesson and is meant for your personal growth. If you’ve become bitter or jaded about love and relationships, stop seeing yourself as a victim. Don’t take everything so seriously. Choose to be the victor instead.

And for those of you who have just given up altogether, there is no reward without taking the risk. Love and a relationship can both be within your grasp. Often all it takes is letting go of your ego and dropping the walls of fear to allow them both into your life.

 

He says one thing but does another. Does trying to understand the male mind make you a bit crazy? Believe it or not men really do want to be in healthy relationships. In Unlocking the Male Mind I’ll share my own insights about men and what they’re really thinking!

We’d love to see you at our Facebook community for ongoing support and conversation!