Can a Woman Ask a Man Out?

“Jonathon, can you please address the issue of how not to come across as too needy? What’s the best way to communicate with a guy after we’ve had three fun dates in a week and now he starts texting instead of calling like he said he would. Should I just stop texting back? Can a woman ask a man out?”

These are great questions that a lot of people have asked me about. I’ll start with the question about texting. Just because he has chosen to text instead of call, doesn’t necessarily mean he’s lost interest. Let’s face it, text has become the most popular form of communication in the past decade with almost 6 billion text messages sent every day, and this is constantly growing. Texting is just simply easier and allows for time to think because of the interval between messages.

To simply ignore a text feels more like a passive aggressive attempt to get him to call you and could be considered game playing rather than honest communication. If you want to talk to him, either call him or text him back.

As for your last question, is he expecting you to reach out to him to initiate a date? While I doubt he’s expecting it per se, the dating rules have changed dramatically in recent years. Men desire to feel pursued and valued as well. It’s completely acceptable for a woman to ask a man out. This will set you apart from most women because you are demonstrating gratitude (with an action, not words) for his previous efforts. If he’s truly interested in you, he will most likely accept the offer with much appreciation. You won’t come across as being too needy.

All of your questions communicate the danger of leaving your relationship destiny in the hands of the man. My philosophy is that men and women are not defined by strict masculine or feminine roles. So in my opinion, the mating dance would be a smoother process if it was truly an equal and joint effort by both men and women.

Just as women are turned on by a man who shows interest and makes an effort, most men these days are seeking and will appreciate a woman who can demonstrate the same interest and effort in return. Therefore, if you like the guy and you want to see him again, then by all means go ahead and ask him out. You might be surprised that he’ll appreciate you a little bit more because you made the effort.

In conclusion, I’d like to add that you need to know yourself well enough to evaluate if this is a relationship worth pursuing. If so, you’ll feel more comfortable with taking the step of asking him out.

For further reading, please read my article Should Men and Women Share Dating Costs?

Do you find yourself in a pattern of attracting emotionally unavailable men? Is there any way to break out of this heartbreaking cycle? In Is He Emotionally Distant? I’ll show you how to find a guy that’s worth keeping in five easy steps.

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