Time to Get Vulnerable, Authentic, and Transparent with A Man
There’s a common thread I’ve noticed from most women in romantic relationships these days: a lack of being able to speak their truth with the man they are seeing.
Can you believe that?
Two people in relationship and yet one is in fear of speaking how she feels on all subjects relating to the relationship.
In today’s episode, we are going to explore the DEEPER conversation centered around vulnerability, authenticity, and transparency because without it, most relationships are doomed.
Let’s talk about… Time to Get Vulnerable, Authentic, and Transparent with A Man
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Jonathon, let me add some insight here on the “young girls have had an opportunity to express their feelings.” Hell no, not if you had the misfortune to grow up in a traditional, legalistic Christian church. Not only were you not allowed to express your feelings, you were told EXACTLY what you were allowed to feel, say, be, do. This is not a men grew up disadvantaged and girls grew up with more freedom to be vulnerable. Hell no! Boys grew up with the privilege of getting dirty, fighting each other, climbing fences, trees, roaming the neighborhood at will, building rare male bonding relationships. How did girls grow up – “Be a lady. Sit this way, dress this way, speak this way. Ladies don’t fight their brother, ladies don’t climb trees. ladies cannot walk to the store alone, ladies, ladies, ladies can’t, can’t cant! We were told who we were allowed to have as friends and there was no secret sharing or vulnerability because when that girl went home she was grilled by her mother as to exactly what was said and done in the other household. I am sure you have had this come up with some of your clients. It is so universal, just like the “Me Too” movement brought to light exactly how prevalent sexual abuse is in young girl’s lives., wich brings up the whole, “Save yourself till you get married” fiasco. How the hell am I supposed to “save myself,” when I’ve already been violated!
Thanks for sharing and helping me gain a greater perspective on this… much appreciated.
Jonathon, let me add some insight here on the “young girls have had an opportunity to express their feelings.” Hell no, not if you had the misfortune to grow up in a traditional, legalistic Christian church. Not only were you not allowed to express your feelings, you were told EXACTLY what you were allowed to feel, say, be, do. This is not a men grew up disadvantaged and girls grew up with more freedom to be vulnerable. Hell no! Boys grew up with the privilege of getting dirty, fighting each other, climbing fences, trees, roaming the neighborhood at will, building rare male bonding relationships. How did girls grow up – “Be a lady, sit this way, dress this way, speak this way. Ladies don’t fight their brother, ladies don’t climb trees. ladies cannot walk to the store alone, ladies, ladies, ladies can’t, can’t cant! We were told who we were allowed to have as friends and there was no secret sharing or vulnerability because when that girl went home she was grilled by her mother as to exactly what was said and done in the other household. I am sure you have had this come up with some of your clients. It is so universal, just like the “Me Too” movement brought to light exactly how prevalent sexual abuse is in young girls’ lives, which brings up the whole, “Save yourself till you get married” fiasco. How the hell am I supposed to “save myself,” when I’ve already been violated!
Jonathon, the absolute best thing you said in this podcast was how all women want a man like you – who knows all this stuff. Huge compliment to you that you do read, research, explore all aspects of relationships – you are definitely a rare bird, and that is a compliment.
I do always speak my truth and, yes, I do throw all the shit out on the table day one because, frankly, I am the epitome of a deal breaker. In retrospect I am in awe of exactly what lengths my former (now deceased) boyfriend went to keep me safe and healthy! Don’t I just wish there were more people like that! These days I feel like a Jewish person in the Warsaw Ghetto in 1943, with thousands of people blindly following what their “bosses” say to do. (These days with their spray bottle chemical warfare).
Thank you…
Eight Dates is a really great book!! I am going through this book with my boyfriend, and it is opening up some great conversations, and we are growing closer. It makes a difference for a guy to want to go through this book with you.