5 Hidden Ways Women Sabotage Their Relationships (#3 Reveals A Lot)

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1. Roberta says

   August 16, 2021 at 2:12 pm

   Your podcasts are very educational and often beneficial. I enjoy listening to them.
   Today, I listened to the one called “5 Hidden Ways Women Sabotage Their Relationships.” During the Q&A portion, you responded to a woman who questioned if she should continue communicating with a man who seemed mostly focused on sexual comments in their communications, before ever having met. I must say that I was surprised by your advice, which was essentially to go out with him for ten dates without having sex, and decide from there. Then, you made comments about people having to learn from their mistakes. I disagree with telling her to go out with him because one of the biggest problems women have in dating is the ignoring of red flags, and not listening to their inner voice providing guidance. Your advice to her could potentially put her in danger, meeting up with a man who is hunting sex as his main goal. Woman need advice that teaches them how to screen men before actually meeting up with them. The man in question clearly was making her uncomfortable, and you advised her to give him ten dates. I’m not quite sure this was good advice. Many women have trouble being assertive with men, and he may put even more pressure in her in person. One of the creepiest and potentially dangerous short dating relationships I had was with an aggressive, sex-driven man who was supposedly an upstanding member of the local business community. Against my inner voice, I agreed to go out with him several times, but told him I don’t sleep with anyone until I get to know them well. He pressured me constantly, and showed up at my house unannounced, asking for a glass of wine. He tried to pressure me into having sex, and when I said no, he became angry and said that he could force it on me if he wanted, but he stopped because I wouldn’t like it. It was a comment made as a show of power on his part—clearly he was used to having his way with women. It was a terrifying threat, and I never went out with him again. Later, I found out that he had a reputation for pressuring women for sex. The thing is, I didn’t know how to screen men properly because I hadn’t dated since teen years, and was widowed after being with my husband for 32 years. I had no idea whatsoever about how to date, or say no, or screen men properly! During our first meeting (where he had coerced me into going to his home to see his “wine cellar”), he received a phone call saying his father had died, and I agreed to a few more dates because I felt sorry for his loss! This is NOT a good reason to date someone, and my instincts were trying to warn me, but I ignored it. And yes, I learned from the experience the hard way, but it would have been nice to feel more confident about decisions because I had researched good advice about dating. The experience was traumatizing, and still haunts me because I could have done a better job and not put myself into the situation. At the time, I was open to the idea of a good relationship, but he was a one-dimensional, simple man who was used to being top commander of everything in his life, with little regard for women’s thoughts, values, or lifestyle.
   That being said, much of your advice is “spot on,” and I think you are providing a valuable service for women, so thank you for your service to the women of the world! I appreciate your book recommendations and the insight into how men think and behave.

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   • Jonathon Aslay says

     August 27, 2021 at 11:22 am

     Thank you kindly

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